Two Guys, a Girl and a TV Set

Three college friends out in the world, filling the void with television…and loving it.

Le Petite Cycle 13: America’s Next Top Model (S13: E1)

Posted by CJ Cregg on September 12, 2009

Tyra switched it up this season and cast only girls who were under 5’7″, arguing that they need an opportunity to break into the modeling world and are just as beautiful as taller models.  She demonstrated a healthy dose of Tyra Crazy early in this episode, delivering her opening monologue to the 32 semifinalists in a terrible French accent.  (I find myself wondering ‘what is she thinking?’ so often while watching Tyra.)
All of the models this season appear and act really young, and there is no shortage of totally weird in the model house either.  Captain of the crazies was Jesus-freak Amber who walked like a horse and was always talking a bit too loudly about how much she loved Jesus.  Her second in command was Nicole from Colorado who is painfully quiet and won’t talk to anyone.

They eliminated 12 models early in the show and had the remaining 20 walk in a model runway show to narrow it down.  Amber was so bad and so crazy on the runway that I just knew the judges would keep her around for effect.  (In her defense, she did have a very pretty face.)  6 more were cut after the runway show, and the final 14 moved into the model house.  Amber was obviously included in the final 14, but due to “a personal reason” she left the show.  My googling could not uncover what the reason was, but perhaps Jesus spoke to her and told her he no longer wanted her to be a model.  (Too harsh?)  After Amber’s departure, Lisa was brought back.

The models got their makeovers early this year, but there was a shocking lack of tears.  Their photo shoot was an editorial shot based on one of their baby pictures, a cute idea.  Most of the models had mediocre photo shoots, which isn’t really that uncommon this early in the season.  Indeed, only Rae, the mother from MN, Nicole with the red mane, and Jennifer actually earned significant praise from Mr. J.  Bianca, who has already earned her stripes as the house troublemaker and drama queen (she freaked out when they bleached her eyebrows during the makeover), complained about everything and annoyed the judges.  Brittany could not tame her sexuality and turned a photo shoot with a pixie stick into a porno, and Lisa was just flat.

The judges did not see potential in Lisa’s boring performance, so she was sent home (again, heh).

All in all, I don’t think this is going to be as good of a season as some of the others.  The girls seem more immature, so there will be drama, but I’m also not sold on the idea of casting only short models.  It seems to me that if they were really good enough to make it as models, they could make their way in a normal casting anyway.  In past seasons, some shorter girls have managed to stick around due to exceptional talent.  Or maybe short girls just shouldn’t be models.  Color me biased, but I’m already sick of the girls whining about how they never get opportunities.  I can’t be a jockey because I’m too tall, but such is the nature of the beast (horse?).  Life isn’t fair.

Too boring to cut it

Too boring to cut it

Leave a comment about your thoughts on the all-short models season!

My predictions:

Winner: Jennifer-the only Asian model of the season, she’s pretty and smart

Next to go: Brittany

Most annoying: Nicole (such a weird0)

Bitchiest: Bianca

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