Two Guys, a Girl and a TV Set

Three college friends out in the world, filling the void with television…and loving it.

Hold your Breath: ANTM (S13: E11)

Posted by CJ Cregg on November 7, 2009

And then there were five.  Nicole has clearly emerged as a front runner, and our petite models all recognize that.  They get a

America's Next Top Model

Striking a pose and trying not to be slut-tastic

Tyra-mail saying something about stuff washing up on shore, and they all figure out (they should be sleuths since modeling won’t work out for any of them) that there’ll be SEA TURTLES!  Or other animals!  (Whaaaaa?)  I was thinking swim suit shots, but that could just be because I saw the “next week on America’s Next Top Model”… or because I’m rational.

Instead, Marisa Miller washes up on shore to show them how to model swimsuits without looking slutty.  (And yet, her poses all looked totally pornographic…)  And then the models run into the ocean and Marisa Miller tells them to roll around in the sand.  Gross.  Their first challenge is to pose in the shower while rinsing the sand off.  (Seriously???)  Marisa notes that Sundai looks like she’s five years old.  Thank you.  What I’ve been saying all along.

For their second challenge, the girls have to take a photo while jumping off a cliff into the ocean.  They have one jump and one chance.  The winner will get a $5,000 chocolate pearl necklace and extra frames.  (That must be some darn good chocolate to be worth that much…)  Nicole wins.  Again.  (Jennifer (in snotty cheerleader voice): Nicole f****ing wins again.  She’s fabulous and has everything a model needs.)

It’s Laura’s birthday, and the modelettes throw her a bash at the house.  (What?  Camaraderie?  Friendly models?  What is this and what happened to ANTM?)

For their challenge, the models are going to be underwater.  Laura may finally get to see that sea turtle.  That’s about the only reason she came to Hawaii it seems.  Laura started to hyperventilate underwater, but she calmed herself down and got some great shots.  Nicole rocked it, as per usual.  Sundai gets a special accommodation for her asthma problem and didn’t go down all the way.  She threw every excuse in the book at Mr. Jay.  (Chant with me!  Send! Her! Home!  Send! Her! Home!)  Erin didn’t get too deep underwater, which pissed the photographer off.

Sundai did make herself look tall, but she lost her face.

America's Next Top Model

Sundai as the headless horsemodel

Laura’s photo was nice.  I’m having a hard time coming up with other adjectives.

America's Next Top Model

Float like an (underwater) butterfly

Jennifer’s photo was really kind of freaky.  She looked dead, just hanging in the water.  The judges seemed to like it, though.

America's Next Top Model

Dead in the water?

Nicole’s picture was also really strange.  She looked like she was dancing.  Again, the judges liked it.  I can’t get over how stupid her feet look, though.

America's Next Top Model

Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum

Erin’s picture was kind of a disaster.  Her face was covered by bubbles.  The judges didn’t hate it as much as I did.

America's Next Top Model

Decidedly ungraceful

(Note on the commercials: I LOVE Ellen DeGeneres as a Covergirl.  Her commercial is awesome.)

If it were up to me (which it totally should be), Erin’s gone.  I don’t like keeping Sundai around, but Erin’s photo was definitely worse.  My favorite picture was Laura’s.

I love Tyra’s super-solemn face when the girls come back in after deliberation.  So totally forced.

Jennifer got the best picture of the week.  Sundai and Erin (no surprise here) wind up in the bottom two.  WHOAH.  The judges decide to keep Erin and send Sundai home.  Tyra sends her home with a passe speech about how she’s a role model for foster kids everywhere.  YAWN.

Next week?  Two girls go home.  (Insert super solemn Tyra face here.  duh Duh DUH!)

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