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America’s Next Top Model is: ANTM (S13: E13)

Posted by CJ Cregg on November 20, 2009

Down to two!  I’m happy with Laura and Nicole as the final two.  They were definitely the best of the bunch I think.  I’m rooting for Nicole.  Laura and Nicole, our petite finalists, receive scripts for another Covergirl commercial.

In her Covergirl photoshoot, Nicole looked ABSOLUTELY STUNNING.  Nigel said she modeled really well.


Laura struggled with her commercial.  However, Mr. J said she picked her energy up and made each take bubbly.  She slipped up a lot, but managed to put an OK commercial together.

Laura's final film

Of course, Nicole also struggled with her commercial.  Mr. J said she sounded snotty and stuck up.  This really threw her off her game.

Next, Ann Shoket and the Seventeen magazine (wooohoooo–> sarcasm intended) crew show up to get their cover shots!

Next up, RUNWAY SHOW.  As the girls practice their walks in the house, I can’t help but laugh.  They both suck.

Tyra does her one on ones with the girls.  She makes Nicole feel even more awkward for being that girl that cries in the bathroom.  Laura starts crying.  Blah blah blah.  Small town blah blah dyslexia blah blah country blah blah grandma…

WHAT?  Erin, Brittany, Sundai, and Jennifer will also be walking in the final Julia Clancy fashion show.  (So they can get seen and booked too?  How lame.  Winners don’t feel so special anymore…)  Consensus is that the eliminated petites want Laura to win.  The crowd is packed in, the girls are covered in glitter, and we’re ready to go!  (I’m really kinda digging the dewy, glistening, glittery look.)

Here’s my EXPERT opinion on the walking.  Nicole walks like she’s pissed.  Moving her shoulders all around like she’s skulking or stalking or something.  Laura walks like she’s cruising the mall.  There’s no power in her legs.  She looks like she’s just trying not to trip.  Then, they put sheets over the girls heads and send them out into the wind.  Sexy.  Except not really.  Also you can’t see the dresses.  Whose idea was that?  Then they send the girls out into the rain, created by sprinklers over the runway.  They look horrible with all that mascara running down their faces.  Like skeletal raccoons.

Tyra says the girls did good.  I did not think they were good.  Also, the girls don’t redo their makeup before going to the final judging.  They still look like wet raccoons.  Poor choice, Tyra.  Tyra calls Nicole’s skulky walk a signature walk.  I just think she looked awful.  In the commercial, Laura looked so forced.  Nicole was gorgeous.  Clearly, Laura is not a spokesmodel.  She needs to enunciate.  Nicole was very natural, but Tyra said she forgot to model.  (Whatever, she still looked SMOKING hot.)  Much to my chagrin, I really grew to like our final two shorties throughout the season.  I wish them the best as they start their careers.

It’s all come down to this.  Tyra says this has been a long and beautiful journey.  Blah  blah blah.  America’s next top model is…

Oh, Tyra. So so so so so so so so crazy


Short dorks everywhere rejoice that they now have representation on the runway.  I’m sure they were really concerned.

Also, keep in mind, loyal readers, that new cycles of top model seem to come around every other month or so.  You won’t be deprived of Tyra’s crazy antics for long.


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