Two Guys, a Girl and a TV Set

Three college friends out in the world, filling the void with television…and loving it.

Just Dance: ANTM (S14: E3)

Posted by CJ Cregg on March 25, 2010

This is NOT a picture of Tyra. Sorry, Tyra

Wow.  The credit sequence and opening song for this season is SOOOO Tyra-tastic.  The top model wanna-bes are hardly even in it.  All Tyra all the time.  She is soooooo self-involved.

Ren tells us that modeling is her mom’s dream for her.  Ah yes.  Now we know why she doesn’t want to be here and doesn’t care at all.  She’s not an All-American girl.  Whine whine whine.  She says she doesn’t want all the drama, and she ‘didn’t know that this was how it was gonna be.’  Um, seriously?  Like, have you ever seen this show before?  Simone is this season’s girl who dumped 45K in tuition to come be on top model, when she ain’t gonna win anyway.  Clearly she wasn’t cut out for smart if she thinks dropping out for Top Model is a good idea.

Toccarra (of season 1233250981!1 fame (what?  I don’t remember)) tells the girls they’re all contestants on Tyra’s cracked-out Fab Bus.  They have to answer questions about fashion.  The winners get a go-see for bluefly.com.  Toccarra needs to learn to read cue cards without sounding like she’s speaking to preschoolers.  And Tyra needs to stop with the game show kitsch “MEGA FIERCE!” flashes across the screen in huge pink letters.  Why they have to be on a bus to play this game, I have no idea.  The questions are about fashion photographers, models, and of course, Tyra herself.

The winning team goes to a bluefly go see, and only one of them will be featured on bluefly.com.  Simone wins!  Jessica-the-anorexic-toothpick says she’s too pageanty.  Yah?  Well, Jessica, you have knobby knees.  Losers have to unpack stuff and do inventory.  Working for the Tyra-machine.  Bummer.

Photo shoot time.  They will be inspired by dance.  They each have to portray a different dance genre.  Can’t wait to see Angelea.  She may be the least graceful person I’ve ever seen.  Jessica looked like the whitest white girl trying to do salsa.  It was dreadful.  Luckily, Angelea was assigned moshing, so she didn’t have to be graceful.  Alexandra rocked her breakdance shoot.  Brenda did not do well again.  They assigned her African dance.  Hilar.  Krista was also nothing graceful.  Simone also couldn’t rock hip hop.  Alasia rocked interpretive dance.  Obviously cuz she got to move slowly and be overdramatic.

Jessica’s picture wasn’t half bad.  The judges loved Raina again.  Tatianna’s photo was beautiful but pure luck.  Alasia shows up to judging in a swimsuit under a jacket.  But her ‘photo was as good as her outfit was bad.’  Alexandra’s picture was also stunning.  Ren’s picture was horrible.  Absolutely awkward.  Tyra asks her point blank.  In or out?  Ren says she wants to stay.  But her picture was so bad that she doesn’t deserve to stay.

OMG.  TYRA!  What is with the peach colored sci-fi body suit?  Why does she always wear body suits?

Oh, Tyra. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!?!?!

Best picture of the week is Alasia.  I have to admit I don’t see what the judges see in this picture.

Interpretive Dancing?

My favorite picture of the week was Alexandra’s.

Alexandra breakdances

In our bottom two we have Brenda and Ren.  Could Brenda look any more matronly?  Ren says she’s doing this for her mom and she just wants her mom to love her.  Tyra psychoanalyzes her for awhile.  But then says Brenda was going to get the picture anyway.  Tyra says Ren should go talk to her mom and tell her how this made her feel.  Awesome advice, Tyra.

This is in the running for worst top model photo in history

Ain't nothing African about Brenda

Here are my predictions for the top 3:

Raina

Simone

Krista

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One Response to “Just Dance: ANTM (S14: E3)”

  1. […] So who has to pack their bags and go home?  Well, not Krista that’s for damn sure.  Raina is the other girl the judges choose for the final runway show.  Alexandra and Angelea will be packing their bags and going home.  (I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that I predicted 2 of the 3 final 3 correctly.) […]

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