Two Guys, a Girl and a TV Set

Three college friends out in the world, filling the void with television…and loving it.

Hail to the Chef: Top Chef (S7: E1)

Posted by CJ Cregg on June 16, 2010

Hitting the Newseum

Top Chef is back for a seventh season, and I’m especially excited because this season takes place in one of my favorite cities, Washington DC from whence I just returned this morning.

Let’s meet some of our chefs:

Tiffany wants to be the first black winner.

Tracey has a creeeepy laugh.

Kenneth ‘turned his first egg when he was 3 years old.’  I don’t know what turning an egg is.

Arnold got a facial and wardrobe consultant to prep for Top Chef.

Kevin tells us that Jersey has arrived.  I’m skeptical.

Jacqueline is our token ‘self taught’ caterer.  She’s going down fast.

Timothy is the hometown chef.

Angelo likes to list his impressive resume with international accomplishments.  I’m thinking his cockiness isn’t gonna hold up.

John is our token crazy person.  Calling that now.

Amanda is our greenie, who cuts her palm on the first challenge.  She’s already selling herself short.

Seems like our chefs are older than usual this season.  Read more about the rest of our chefs here.

Our chefs converge on the Newseum balcony (I’ve totally been there).  Their first quickfire tests their basic speed and skills in the mise en place tournament, where they peel potatoes, brunoise onions, break down chickens, and prepare a dish.  Kenny comes out swinging and wins all 3 of the speed tests.  Tracey wants him to fall off the balcony.  I’m pretty sure she’s not kidding.  Our four qualifiers for the final round have to prepare a dish using the chicken they broke down, the onions, and the potatoes.  Winner gets 20 thousand bucks.  Our top two are Angelo (already the villain) and Kenny.  Good v. Evil playing out, it seems.  Angelo wins.  Evil prevails.  Annoying yes, but apparently he has the skills to back up the mouth.

For the first elimination challenge, the cheftestants have to make a dish that represents where they’re from.  Like

OK, so this has nothing to do with cooking, but here's a pic of Padma and her new baby 🙂

last season, they’ll go head to head with a group of chefs and the losing chefs will be in danger of getting eliminated.

The contestants hit Whole Foods, and Jacqueline decides she’ll make a chicken liver mousse.  Yah.  I just threw up in my mouth.  Angelo’s dish includes ‘bacon froth.’  Interesting.  John is making a maple dessert to represent Michigan.  Heh.  Michigan.  Steven has to represent Ohio.  Also funny.

When they arrive at the auditorium, Jacqueline’s dish tastes grainy.  It also looks like something one produces AFTER eating a huge meal.  So she cooks it again.  I’m sure that’s going to work out really well for her.  On the plus side, she knows she’s screwed.  Amanda’s plate was kind of a mess.  Tracey’s shrimp is bland.

Now it’s time for our first judges table.  In our top 4, we have Angelo, Kenny, Kevin, and Alex.  Alex kinda looks like Weird Al and made a borscht.  Angelo wins again, and the judges praise his bacon foam.  He’s gonna be an a** all season.  But I trust Bravo too much to make this season predictable, so here’s to hoping he won’t actually win (Predictable and annoying? Here’s looking at you Lifetime).

In the bottom 4 are Steven, John, Tim, and Jacqueline.  Jacqueline whines about needing a recipe for a dish that she claims she’s made hundreds of time.  Tom Coliccio ain’t having it.  Sadly, our chefs making dishes representing the Midwest didn’t fare so well.  John the-weirdo-with-crazy-eyes-and-scary-hair made a puff pastry dish with store bought puff pastries.  GASP!  CALAMITY!

So who earns the honored title of being first kicked off for season seven?  John and his store bought puff pastries are packing their knives and going home.  Would have thought that Bravo would have kept crazy eyes around longer.

Up this season: challenges at the CIA, space (as in planets and galaxies and stuff) AND BUZZ ALDRIN, the Washington Nationals, and an appearance by the White House Chef.

Ah, Bravo.  In the midst of the summer doldrums, you always bring it.  This is gonna be a good season.

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