Two Guys, a Girl and a TV Set

Three college friends out in the world, filling the void with television…and loving it.

Posts Tagged ‘ANTM’

Statuesque: ANTM (S15: E10)

Posted by CJ Cregg on November 11, 2010

Final five

Time to go on go sees!  Chelsey is excited because she’s been on go sees before.  Woo-freakin’-hoo.  Tyra gives the girls a quick lesson on how to put together a portfolio.  The girls also learn that their go sees will include a stop at Versace.  They won’t be taking cabs, instead they’ll be braving the public transit or using their own two feet.  Jane and Chris find Versace easily, but the other three get lost.  The casting director said Chris looked like a model from the 80s.  He also says Chelsey is ‘two seasons ago.’  He loved Ann.  Weird.

All the girls get lost in the subway, but all the signs I saw were in English, so clearly they’re just not trying hard enough.  Ann and Kayla both get themselves so lost that they can’t get back on time.  As much as I like watching them get lost, this is dangerous.  Setting them loose in a city where they don’t speak the language.  Scary.  Chelsey wins because she’s the only one that made it to more than one go see.  This was an unusually feeble attempt on the part of these girls.

If statues could melt...

For their photoshoot, the girls have to be marble statues.  Nigel will photograph them as they come alive with their sculptor, who is, of course, a male model.  Jane lacks passion in her photos and has a minor meltdown.  It must be really hard to hear you don’t have a personality week after week.  Chelsey brought it right from the beginning.  Ann also did really well because she’s artistic.  As Mr. Jay said, ‘you can tell she knows stuff about sculptors from the period.’  Can you?  Really?  Kayla also did really well.  Chris didn’t suck, but Nigel said you could see pain on her face because she twisted her ankle while on the go sees.

Pretty sure Jane’s going home.  Plaaaaaaain Jane.

Kayla’s picture really is quite pretty.

The judges like Chelsey, but I don’t think her picture is great.  You can hardly see her.

Chris did good, but not great.

When it comes time for judging, the  judges say Ann’s picture has no emotion, but I think it’s the most emotional of all of them (making me defend Ann? Thanks, Tyra.)  Also, Tyra lectures her on the importance of a personality, and yet she booked Versace???

Statue Ann

All the girls then get a lecture on going to go sees.  Turns out, they’re important.  Can’t get a job if no one sees you.

Best picture of the week goes to Kayla for the second week in a row.  We can leave her soccer mom capri pants alone for the moment.

Kayla's picture really is beautiful

In the bottom two we have Chris and Jane.  No surprise here.  Jane gets to stay, which I think is the right decision.  Chris clearly wasn’t going to win.

Chris's was definitely the worst picture of the week

Jane then gets a lecture from Tyra about being a real human being.  Gee, nice.  Tyra then tells Chris to take some acting classes cuz she should have a comedy show.

Geez, Jane. You have one more week to prove you're actually human...

Who would have thought Jane, Ann, Chelsey, and Kayla would be in the final four?  Actually, I would.  Cuz I’ve seen every season at least twice.  So I know how this works.  Except for Jane.  She’s the one surprise to me.

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Viva Italia!: ANTM (S15: E9)

Posted by CJ Cregg on November 6, 2010

The final six arrive in Italy

Final 6.  That means it’s time to go somewhere international.  (Oh Tyra.  So predictable!  Every season is the same.  Says the girl who’s watched all 15 seasons and most of them twice.)  I bet it’s Italy because this is the vogue season.  Also, they already told us they were going to Italy.  Tyra has apparently forgotten how to build suspense in her old age.

Ms Jay pops by the house to take the girls on a bike ride around Venice Beach.  (I reissue my call to get this house some locks.)  He takes them to a bridge where Tyra drifts by on a gondola.  (So not surprised.)  She is screaming at a gondolier telling him to take her to VENICE and not to VENICE BEACH.  She’s like actually screaming.  It’s kind of terrifying.

OK.  Bags packed?  Good.  We’re in Italy now.

Ann is actually coming out of her shell, which is awesome to see.  She jokes around with the girls now and is (a little bit) less awkward.

The girls head to the Grand Canal to do a high-fashion, period editorial shoot surrounding 18th century decadence.  My favorite century of decadence, personally.  They have to put on corsets and, in groups of three, compete for the attention of Cassanova.  Cue Kayla’s lesbian fears.  But Kayla actually did great work.  Liz and Chris were a bit awkward.  Liz makes lots of excuses because of how hot it was outside.  This was kind of a disaster.  Ann has a lot of trouble competing for the attention of a man and she puts a lot of pressure on herself.  Jane also turns it on.

After the photoshoot, the girls learn they’re moving to Milan the next day.  (Good.  Because Venice isn’t exactly a fashion capital.)  When they show up, the girls are annoyed because their house is small.  SUCK. IT. UP, ladies.  You are in Milan.  While they’re stuffing their faces in their teeny kitchen, Tyra creeps in.  (WHAT IS IT WITH THESE PEOPLE DROPPING IN UNANNOUNCED?)  Tyra tells them that she picked this apartment for them because it was not glamorous.  Much like the apartments of struggling models across the world.  This is real life modeling, bitches. So shut your stinking pie holes.

The next day, the roll up to Missoni, a fashion house.  They try on the fashions and do a mini go see.  One of the girls is going home that night.

Wearing unseasonable fashion at panel

At panel, the judges love Chelsey, but they also love Ann.  They say she looks like a decadent aristocrat.  I think she looks stiff and confused.  This ‘Ann can do no wrong’ mentality needs to end.  They also love Jane’s pouty lip.  It’s so hot in the judging room that some of them almost pass out.  So Tyra lets them sit down.  Gee, thanks.  They need water and to take off these ridiculous sweaters.  The judges are less excited about Chris and Liz.

Ann, Chelsey, Jane

Liz, Chris, Kayla

Six beautiful ladies stand before Tyra.  But she only has five photos in her hands.  OH SNAP.

Kayla gets the best picture this week.  Justly deserved.  Ann sneaks by, which I’m not sure is justified.  I guess she built up enough good will in the first few weeks.  So, Chris and Liz are in the bottom two.  Tyra only has one photo in her hands.  She will ONLY CALL ONE NAME.  Who will it be?

Chris gets to stay.

Wrong decision, judges.  Liz has way more potential.

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Skater Girls: ANTM (S15: E8)

Posted by CJ Cregg on October 28, 2010

The girls are posin' for Posen

Ann has been dethroned for best picture of the week.  She feels a bit of pressure.  Liz is up on her high horse.  I don’t blame her.  That’s pretty awesome.

Ms. Jay shows up at the girls’ house.  Fashion show time.  They’ll be in a Zac Posen show.  (Um, he’s adorable.)  They’ll be working with other models (haven’t they already done that?)  Zac tells them it’s all about the attitude.  Chris tell us that Esther has no attitude, so she’s gonna suck.  Nice girl, that Chris.

While the wannabes are in hair and makeup, Ms. Jay meets with the professional models and tells them to be mean and try to shake the confidence of the modeltestants to see if they hold their composure.  Isn’t he afraid they’re gonna crack and embarrass Tyra?  This is HIGH-LARIOUS to watch.  These girls psych so easily.

Esther and Jane are not made for runway.  Ann actually surprisingly

Esther does NOT have a good walk

doesn’t suck as much as I would have expected her to suck.  But she was still pretty horrible.  If I were Zac Posen, I would have yanked Esther and Jane off the runway so fast.  I would NOT have let them go out again.  Chelsey wins.  She and Liz and Kayla were really the only ones passable as models.

Mr. Jay and Nigel wander into the house the next day.  (WTF, ladies?  Get your house a lock.  This is getting creepy.  Anyone can drop in.)  They have to do a commercial for H2T, a beauty water.  Very Italian Vogue, Tyra.  Also, they’ll be on roller skates kissing boys.  This sounds more CosmoGirl than Italian Vogue. We find out at panel, though, that this product is actually made up.  Weird, but I guess it’s important to make them do commercials before it actually matters.

Kayla throws a fit because she doesn’t feel comfortable kissing and flirting with boys because of a past experience of assault.  Now, I understand traumatic experiences don’t just go away.  And assault is always wrong.  But did she really think she’d be able to get through a career as A MODEL without having to interact closely with men?  And way to confirm the stereotype of lesbians as man haters.

These ladies LOOK SLUTTY.

Slutty, skating Jane at the commercial shoot

Esther was flat, Liz couldn’t keep it together, and Kayla actually didn’t suck.  Ann totally psychs herself out.  They even put pads on her because she’s falling all over the place so much.

Best part of the episode so far?  Montage of the models falling on roller skates.

Panel time!  Is Andre wearing a garbage bag?  My predic?  Esther’s headed home.

Yup, totally a garbage bag

Jane’s commercial was actually adorable.  Chris was really good too, if a bit cheesy.  Tyra liked Kayla’s commercial because she looked ‘urban’ which as best as I could tell, means she looked black.  They had to think of something nice to say about Esther, so they tell her they like her horrible, striped sailor shirt that just makes her boobs look even bigger.  Way to lie, panel, way to lie.

Who shot the best commercial?  Chris gets called first this week.  Liz sneaks by, too, which leaves Ann and Esther in the bottom two.  And since no way in heck are they sending Ann home, that means I have correctly predicted Esther as the one being eliminated this week.

Kthxbai.

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Fashion Icons: ANTM (S15: E7)

Posted by CJ Cregg on October 21, 2010

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am

The girls rejoice in the limo that Kacey is gone!  I feel their joy.

Esther is struggling to keep kosher in the house.  Power to her.

The girls roll up to the Grammy museum.  They learn that one of them will get to be a Grammy girl, who gets to hand out awards at the event.  They each have a partner and have to dress them for the audition.  Some of the girls listen to what their partners want to wear, and others do a little freestyling.  Chelsey cries because Ann has selected a size 12 for her to wear.  BAHAHAHAHAHA.  There’s a Jedi mind trick designed for a modeling competition.  Except no, I think Ann’s really just that dense.

Turns out, half of these girls have never watched the Grammys.  Kendal and Chris look pretty slutty.  Chelsey definitely looks a fool in her size 12.  Mr. Jay wonders if Kendal sabotaged Chris because she put her in such a slutty dress.  Heh.  Ann looks awesome, but she’s too tall and she’s gonna make Kanye look short on stage!  Oh no!  Kayla and Liz are the winning team, but only one gets to be a Grammy girl.  Kayla wins.  Anyone else think that she’s going to take too much attention away from the stars with her flaming hair?

Liz is sad she didn’t win, so she gets drunk.

Good solution to all of life’s problems, really.

For their challenge, each girl has to portray an iconic fashion designer.  They totally did this one on Australia’s Next Top Model.  I know because I watched it in China this summer.

They have to understand their designers’ personalities and their fashions.  Most of the models know nothing about these designers, and Liz of course has excuses aplenty.  She looks more like Johnny Depp than John Galliano, if you ask me, but Mr. Jay says it was her best shoot.

Chris was pretty awesome as Betsey Johnson, too.

Chris/Betsey

Kendal couldn’t quite figure out how to do Vera Wang.  She’s totally going home this week.

Jane. Looks. Hilarious. as Marc Jacobs.  She has no idea how to play a man.

Jane/Marc

Ann got Alexander Wang. Slouchy. Boyish. Done.

Alexander/Ann

Tyra’s skull and crossbones logo flashes through the house, warning the girls of an imminent elimination.  How optimistic and cheery Tyra is.

Tyra tells Liz (in her drunken elimination stupor) that she has the gift of androgyny.  Would that we were all that lucky, I guess.

Tyra goes after Jane for not portraying Marc Jacobs, which doesn’t seem fair to me because she’s certainly not the only one who didn’t know who they were supposed to portray.

Kendal’s shot is horrible, as expected.

Ann’s shot creeps me out.  Her eyes are piercing into my soul.

Make.

It.

Stop.

If Ann wins best picture for the 6th week in a row, I’m done.  Not watching anymore.  Take that, Tyra.

Liz gets best picture this week, and Ann ain’t havin’ any of it.  OK, Tyra.  I guess I can keep watching.

Really? This is the top picture, Tyra?

Esther and Kendal wind up in the bottom.  (CALLED IT!)

Tyra tells Esther she only has one look.  And the top model has to be a kah-million.  I think she means chameleon.  But it’s Tyra.  So who knows.  She tells Kendal she doesn’t have the skills (OHH SNAPP!)

Esther gets to stay.  Duh.  We knew that was coming.

Kendal doesn't do Vera

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Rodeo Drive: ANTM (S15: E6)

Posted by CJ Cregg on October 14, 2010

We’re down to 9!  But only one will grace the cover of Italian Vogue.  Duh duh duuuuuuh.

The girls are put in teams to write some stuff and show off some CoverGirl products.  They roll up to Walmart.  (How Italian Vogue, right?)  They have to be personable and authentic as they demo some new makeup.  Ann pretty much tanks because she’s uncomfortable around people.  Which gives Chelsey the opportunity to talk trash.  This is boring.  Chris is Ms. Interruption.  She talks over Chelsey half the time.

The girls then have to sit and watch while Nigel interviews the crowd about how they did.  As expected, Ann pretty much didn’t register with the crowd.  She got the lowest score of any of the models.  The winner is Kacey, and her group wins a shopping spree in the CoverGirl aisle of Walmart.  Woohooo.  Liz says Kacey was fake.  She did look beautiful, but I’m so over her.

Boring challenge.

OK, Tyra.  What else ya got?

They girls get trucked out to Rodeo drive.  (Which forgettable Kendal, who may have the least face time of any of the modelettes so far this season, pronounces Roh-dee-oh.  Good times.)  So apparently some famous people are taking their pictures.  No one I’ve heard of.  Patrick Demarchelier.  Or something.  God no.  Make Tyra stop pretending to speak French.  WE MUSTN’T ENCOURAGE HER!  NO MORE FRENCH PHOTOGRAPHERS!  Our model wannabes will be paired up with another girl and a male model and they’ll be sauntering down the walk of fame.  They draw a pretty good crowd of onlookers gaping at Tyra.

Kacey fell flat.

Huh? What?

Chelsey totally psyched herself out because she got paired up with Ann.

Ann and Chelsey

Kendal totally rocked it.

Chris also did really well.  (“I’m no diva.  [pause. adorable smile] But today I felt like one.”  She’s cute, but she’s not going to win.)

Chris and her boo

They’ve taken to showing these ‘backstage, pre-panel’ shots of Tyra and the judges before the elimination.  Anyone else think that they just prove the suspicion that Tyra is drunk all the time?

Kendal and Liz got a good shot.

Liz and Kendal, Kendal and Liz

Esther took over her shot with Kayla.

Esther eclipses Kayla

Jane finally got her great shot.  She blew Kacey out of the water.

Kacey's all huh? what?

Despite Chelsey’s concerns, she and Ann got a good picture.

Chris’s picture was cute, but not editorial.

Ann won best picture for the 5th week in a row.  Yah.  This is boring.

I'm still not convinced she's actually going to win

Runner up for best photo is Jane.  About time she started to take good pictures.

Same with Kendal, who gets called next.

Kayla and Kacey are in the bottom two.  I would have thought both of them would stick around longer.  Kayla gets to stay, meaning that Kacey gets sent home, despite her challenge win.  And hey, she’s gooooooooooone!  But she’s bawling so hard that I almost [read: almost] feel bad for her.

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Laying the Smackdown: ANTM (S15: E5)

Posted by CJ Cregg on October 7, 2010

Lexie holds it together on the conveyer belt runway

Ann won best photo last week for the third time in a row.  Models are piiiiiiiiissed.  Sorry ladies, she’s the best right now.  Kacey tries to smooth over her problematic relations in the house, so she creates an ice breaker to get to know the girls even better.  The producers must be going crazy, because this allows the girls to tell all their teenage pregnancy, drug addiction, homeless shelter sob stories.

Sorry, I was looking at Facebook during that.  Turns out, my friends are excited about the Halloween mac and cheese I encountered at the grocery store.  I also bought a bag of candy corn to ship to my pumpkin in China.

But I’m eating it right now.

Oops.

Ok, back to business.  The girls have to do a runway show with the awkward male models of last week.  But the runway is a conveyor belt, and they have to wear heels while the male models rock sneakers.  Ah, gender roles, how I love thee.

As the runway show starts, the girls realize the conveyor belt is fast, so they look like cartoons falling all over themselves as they screw up.  It’s hilarious.  If I were that designer, I’d be snipping my name out of the tags of every single one of those dresses.  Chelsey, in particular, was an utter embarrassment.  There’s no way Tyra could have thought this was a good idea.  Every single one of these girls is horrible.  This is comedic gold.  I can only hope that Tyra is in the back with her friends getting a good laugh, as this runway show is not good for selling clothes.  Lexie was the only one who didn’t epically fail.  Kacey actually wins the challenge even though Lexie was better.  Can we stop encouraging her?

Another screaming fight breaks out in the house, Kacey v. Liz, while I busy myself with my candy corn.

Photoshoot time!  They’re at Lucha Va Voom, Mexican wrestling.  They’ll be posing opposite wrestler in editorial fashion.  Tyra gets crazier every week.  These girls look like drag queens.  Liz and Jane really can’t get into it  Ann also struggles, which leads to a breakdown.  It seems that it’s difficult to massively crash from the top to bottom.

Time for Tyra and the judges to lay the smackdown on the wannabes at panel.  None of the girls have brought ‘domination’ to their photos.

And yet, the judges love Ann’s picture.  I think it’s creepy and terrifying.  The judges really need to stop this.  There’s no way Ann is this perfect.  And this picture is sooooo weird.

Ann's AWKWARD picture

Chris also rocked the picture.

Chris jumps for joy at her great shot--the real best picture of the week

Kacey didn’t get a great shot.

Kacey's predictable pic

Jane has yet to take a great shot.

Plain Jane

This weeks best picture goes to Ann AGAIN.  Blargh.  If I actually thought Ann was taking the best pictures, I’d be cheering her on.

Chris gets runner-up.

Lexie and Jane are in the bottom two.  Jane gets to stay, which is shocking because she has gotten almost no camera time at all this season.

Lexie's losing picture

Kacey must be stoked.

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Under the Sea: ANTM (S15: E4)

Posted by CJ Cregg on October 1, 2010

Tea with Tyra

Kacey the flirt has the brilliant idea of inviting the male models over for a BBQ.  But, GASP, she has a boyfriend!  Also, all the girls are aaaaawkward.  Like a middle school dance.  Horrible idea, Kacey.

The next day, the girls head to Knott’s Berry Farm, America’s first theme park.  For their photo shoot, they have to ride a roller coaster and portray an emotion.  Turns out, it’s really hard to hold your face in one position while going super fast.  But still.  What a weird challenge.

Liz is the winner, and she gets a photoshoot with Tyra for her new magazine or something.  Who is she trying to be, Oprah?  And then they go and have tea.  Weird.  Tyra then pours some out for the homeys.  Cuz you can do that with tea.

Then, we find out that everyone hates Kacey.  But she’s so convinced she’s going to be America’s Next Top Model that she doesn’t care.  (She’s wrong, btw.  I’m calling this now.)

Their photoshoot is a beauty shot with millions of dollars of jewelry.  They’ll be posing with things like octopi, squids, and other nasty creatures to evoke undersea goddesses.  Matthew Rolston will be their photographer.  I’ve heard of him.

Kayla was actually stunning.

Kayla is Ariel-esque

These shots are actually really cool.  This photographer has an impressive vision.

Liz fell short because of her complaints and excuses during the shoot.

Esther’s photo was pretty awesome.

First good shot we've seen of Esther

Chelsey’s picture did not impress.  In fact, she looked like a drag queen.  Good thing she went all out and got her teeth filed.

Chelsey the drag queen

Best picture of the week is Ann for the third week in a row.  This is starting to get boring.

Ann looks Elizabethan

Kacey gets the runner up for best photo.

I don't think Kacey's photo is that good and I really want to get rid of her

Chelsey sneaks by, so Liz and Rhianna are left in the bottom two.

To my utter shock, Liz sneaks by too, and Rhianna is sent home, despite a strong performance in the previous weeks.  I thought Rhianna would be around for a lot longer.

Rhianna's Photo is definitely not the loser in my opinion

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Fallen Angels: ANTM (S15: E3)

Posted by CJ Cregg on September 23, 2010

6 minutes have elapsed of this episode, and so far the people who sucked last week are just whining about the fact that they sucked.  This is boring.

BUT THEN!!!

The Jays hang out and watch the tears and drama during the makeovers

Tyra shows up at the Top Model house to pal around with the girls.  Except really she’s there to tell them they’re going to get makeovers so they look like models.  Crazy thing they’re doing this season?  Giving Chelsey a bigger gap between her teeth.  Um.  Crazy.  And OUCH.

Oh, and you remember how the girls aren’t supposed to bully each other this season?  Yah.  That didn’t even last an episode.  Lexie wrote up a fake list that allegedly said what the girls’ makeovers were going to look like and pretended it came from Tyra.  It included horrible things like “strawberry blonde afro” and “shaved head.”  Stupid prank.  Lexie’s fake tears were believable though.  But still.  Now that Anamaria is gone, she’s the new girl to hate in the house.

After their makeovers and a quick photoshoot with their new looks, the girls learn that someone is going home that evening.  They send Terra home right in the hair salon because she didn’t embrace her new short hair.  The Chris-Terra sister duo is now broken up.  Now she has to go home with a crazy weird haircut.  Heh.  Bummer.

Terra gets sent home for her inability to make this haircut look good

For their photoshoot, the girls are supposed to be angels falling from the sky, and they’ll hang from a harness.  The story is that they’ve fallen for a mortal man, so there are male models on the set.  Again with the crazy weird photoshoot, Tyra.  I’m not sure how this figures into vogue.  It’s also weird that right after they give them haircuts, they cover up their hair with these weird feather headdresses.  Lexie and Sara sucked it up pretty hardcore.

Judging time.  OH SNAP.  Tyra found out about the fake makeover list.  And yet.  She didn’t care.  So much for taking a stand on bullying and pranks.  Most of the girls totally missed the mark on their photos.  Like, seriously, I’ve never seen them suck this much.

Esther looks super awkward.  Like a fish out of water.

Ain't nothing pretty about Esther here

Rhianna did nail the emotion she was supposed to portray.

Fallen Rhianna

Ann also got a great shot, but the judges tell her she needs to make her personality pop.

But before the judges deliberate, Tyra gives our girls a-talking-to saying they shouldn’t embarrass her in front of these super famous photographers.  Ah yes.  Now we know the reason why ANTM has never worked with super high end designers and photographers in the past.  Cuz most of these girls can’t and never will be able to model.

So, among this disappointing group, Ann wins best photo.  Again.

Kayla is the runner up for best photo.

Sara and Lexie comprise the bottom two.  But Lexie seems to have more potential (and a “better” on camera personality), so she gets to stay.

Sara falls for good in a decidedly un-angelic manner

Ann is already the person to beat.  I don’t know, though.  Awkward can only get you so far.

Too awkward for words

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High Fashion: ANTM (S15: E2)

Posted by CJ Cregg on September 17, 2010

So we have our 14 girls in the house.  WHO will be eliminated tonight?

Our wannabes are in Venice Beach, where they get the keys to their new house from a “Venice Beach icon” (aka homeless person with scraggly beard.  Hope you disinfect everything first, girls).  OK, so I know they’re in Venice Beach, but Tyra got these girls a house with SAND inside.  They have a beach inside.  And there’s a beach outside.

What do we learn now?  Annamaria sucks.  Like so hardcore.  With her “New York” attitude and “calorie restricted diet.”  Also, Kayla’s a lesbian.  For reals.

Great view right up her skirt

For their first challenge, the girls are walking in a Diane von Furstenberg runway show.  Hey.  A designer I’ve heard of.  Way to go, Tyra.  Oh, and the runway is 4 stories above the ground.  (Get it?  HIGH fashion?  But my problem is that people on the ground can’t really see that far up to even see the clothes.)  They also have to do their own hair and makeup.  DVF, have you seen some of these girls?  They ugly.  And have no style.  Good thing you can’t actually see them.  Except right up their skirts.  What a horrible idea, Tyra/DVF.  Also, these girls can’t walk.  I mean, they can walk.  But now down a runway while looking good.  I’d be cringing if I were DVF.  (Also, Kacey, your heart isn’t literally pumping out of your chest.  Literally.)

Teen bullying is the topic of their first photo shoot.  How extraordinarily vogue.  I personally always flip to the teen bullying fashion spreads when I get my Vogue Italia in the mail.  Tyra shows up and whines about how hard it was to grow up with a big forehead.  Yah. Try being a lesbian, Tyra.  So the girls write the mean words they were called on their bodies and model swimsuits.  Tyra puts her psychologist hat on over her big forehead and counseled the girls through their past problems.  Cuz digging up past dirt is sooo healthy.

At the photoshoot, Mr. Jay tells Annamaria she’s too skinny.  Thank

No bullying in the top model house....RIGHT

goodness.  She’s utterly emaciated.  It’s disgusting.  And she said she didn’t care.  Terra completely breaks down at the photoshoot.  Demi Lovato shows up.  She says bullying is bad.  I’m sure that will stick in the house.

Paaaaaaanel time.  Lexie did well, which is annoying cuz she’s annoying.  Tyra calls Annamaria out for being emaciated.  She says she doesn’t see it, and she likes her body.  Ann also rocked it.  I can’t get over her plain looks, but the judges seem to like it.

Decision time.  Fourteen beautiful ladies are standing in front of Tyra, but she only has thirteen photos in her hands.  Best photo goes to Ann.  The pictures are handed out until she only has one photo in her hands, which represents the girl still in the running to be America’s Next Top Model.  (Ok, considering I have the script of this show memorized, it’s probably time to stop watching.)  Arrogant Annamaria in the bottom two.  Sweet justice.  Terra sneaks by, and Annamaria goes home.  I feel vindicated and satisfied.  She’s still not having it, and says she’ll make it on her own.

Yah.  Right.

In case you don’t believe me, emaciated Anamaria:

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Cycle 15 Goes Vogue: ANTM (S15: E1)

Posted by CJ Cregg on September 8, 2010

Going Vogue

So, America’s Next Top Model is a fabulous (read: awesomely bad) show.  Catfights, fashion, falling off runways…what more could you ask for?  Oh yes, a top model.  ANTM has not actually produced a top model in its years on the air.  Few have gotten more national attention than the one CoverGirl ad they were promised.   And no winner has become a celebrity highly sought after for campaigns and runway shows.

This time, Tyra is going to (try to) change that.  This cycle’s winner will win a cover of Italian Vogue and get to work with some real designers and photographers along the way.  Can Tyra actually produce a top model?  We’ll find out.

So the first episode is always boring.  But we already know Kacey is a backstabbing jerk, Emily is racist, and Vanessa (from Lakeville, MN–neighboring towns to my home town) is a self described “rich bitch.”  Other than that, most of these girls just screech so high only a dog can hear them when they meet Tyra for their casting appointments.  Ann, who is insanely plain looking, is also 6’2″ and TOO TALL for most modeling agencies.  These girls are skinnier than usual, methinks.

32 wannabes are whittled down to 20.  Among those cut are Vanessa and Emily.  Shocker.  The remaining 20 get to hobnob with designer Cynthia Rowley.

And then our 20 are whittled down to 14.  Not that these names mean anything yet.  But for the record here they are.

Anamaria

Kendal

Rhianna

Chris

Jane

Chelsey

Liz

Sarah

Lexie

Esther

(some people I didn’t catch cuz I had to answer the door)

Ann

Terra

Next week I’ll drop my predictions and do a real episode recap where I truly make fun of the models.  For the time being, I’m going to concentrate on the new premieres.

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