Two Guys, a Girl and a TV Set

Three college friends out in the world, filling the void with television…and loving it.

Posts Tagged ‘Real Housewives’

Season Recap-Real Housewives of Orange County

Posted by CJ Cregg on March 4, 2010

Marriage ready? Or just publicity sluts?

The Real Housewives of Orange County will go back behind their gates for another year.  Those of us addicted to Bravo will have to suffer with the Real Housewives of New York (so not as good) and then Atlanta and then New Jersey before we can get Tamra, Gretchen, Vicki, Lynne, and Alexis back in our lives.

So, here’s what happened this season.  It was a fantastic season, full of juicy drama.

Gretchen’s loaded fiancee Jeff passed away from cancer.  She promptly started dating Slade, of ‘Date my Ex’ and ‘Slade and Jo’ fame.  He also had a relationship with Lauri, a former housewife.  He’s dated them all.  Clearly an opportunist.  This was only after she had a bad patch and had compromising photos end up on the internet. Gretchen tries to launch her own beauty line to get some income.  It ain’t working so well.  She and Slade are also seriously talking about marriage, which creeps the rest of the housewives (and me) out.

Vicki and Donn have largely fixed their marriage.  They renewed their vows and are showering each other with lots and lots of carats. Vicki has had a lot of drama with the other ladies because she has a job, and most of them don’t.  [Her realism in the face of economic crisis is awesome.  The other ladies are struggling and she says, totally deadpan: Get a job!]  She keeps complaining about how they never have fun together anymore.  I was worried about her leaving the show for awhile, but even though she’s my favorite housewife, I know she’s definitely too self-centered to leave the show.

Lynne’s family got evicted from their house because they were living outside of their means.  Turns out Lynne’s

Together for how much longer?

husband, Frank, was lying about how much money they had.  But, Lynne is about to forgive him and get back together.  Lynne struggles to parent her rebellious teenagers, who show up waaaaasated to the final party.  Mother of the year.  MOTY.

We were also introduced to Alexis, our newest blonde housewife. She has a super controlling husband, lets her boobs hang out, and is suuuuuper religious (allegedly).  She also claims to be a ‘stay at home mom’ despite having 2 live-in nannies.  Unreal.  Where do they find these people?

Tamra and Simon are majorly on the rocks.  In the limo on the way to the final party, she tells him she wants a divorce because he was being so critical and controlling.  He sweet talks her outside of the party with ‘I love yous’ and talks her out of it.  (He’s soooo awful!)  She’s really distraught about it.  They’re getting a divorce.

God didn't give Alexis that rack

Jeana decided to leave the show to focus on her family and business.  Very sad.  Kara, her daughter, was a lifesaver for Lynne’s failing parenthood at the final party. I miss Kara.  She’s a good daughter.  One of the few in this bunch.

Final countdown!  Who got plastic surgery this season?

1) Lynne and her daughter-face lift and nose job respectively.  The ultimate mark of narcissism.  Mother-daughter plastic surgery.

2) Vicki did botox with her office mates

3) Alexis’s mom

Did I miss anyone?

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More Bounce in California: Real Housewives (S5:E1)

Posted by CJ Cregg on November 7, 2009

real-housewives-of-atlanta-season-5-personality-quiz_0“It’s not how much money you have–it’s how good you look spending it.” –Lynne

“Just…keep it classy.”  –Simon (them’s tall orders, sir!)

Welcome back to Orange County!  Our five (soon to be six) fabulous first ladies are back on Bravo, and this promises to be an epic season.

Last season, Gretchen’s fiancee Jeff passed away from leukemia.  Gretchen has a new boyfriend, none other than Slade.  Slade has dated two other housewives, and she started dating him quite soon after Jeff’s death.  In addition to the new boyfriend, Gretchen apparently fell in with a bad crowd, and there are naked pictures of her on the web.  The other housewives are understandably appalled.  She says she was “in a dark place” right after Jeff passed, but now she just thanks Jeff for bringing her Slade.  (I don’t know what to make of Gretchen.  She’s definitely my least favorite housewife.)

Lynne’s expanding her jewelry collection.  And planning on getting a face lift.  She tells Tamra not to tell anyone she’s going under the knife.  (Umm, hello?  You’re on national TV, my dear.)

Jeanna has fallen on tough times because she sells real estate and the market in the OC has collapsed.  Apparently she asked Vicki to borrow money, but Vicki said no.

Tamra is struggling with her marriage.  She says that she and Simon have a love/hate relationship.  (“I love him and he hates me.”)  Simon is controlling, and in the preview, Tamra says she thinks they’re headed for divorce.

real-housewives-of-atlanta-season-5-live-vote-501

Gretchen and new boyfriend Slade

By contrast, Vicki’s marriage has survived a shaky last season, and she says she and Donn are doing better.

Lynne decides she wants all the housewives to get together.  She hosts a jewelry showing and dinner party to reunite all of the ladies.  It’s SO insanely awkward because Tamra and Gretchen had a huge fight last season when Tamra accused Gretchen of cheating on Jeff.  Jeanna tries to mediate when everything blows up, but it’s hopeless.  (Jeanna was hilarious in this dinner scene, though.  She basically just gave a play by play while stuffing her face.)  Tamra and Gretchen end up screaming at each other and Tamra says Gretchen “preys on old men” and then always plays the victim.  I’m not sure if all this stuff about Gretchen is true, but I’m definitely on Tamra’s side.  There’s a dark side to Gretchen.

But sadly, I took the “which housewife are you?” quiz on Bravo, and it turns out I’m Gretchen.  Probably because I checked that I love to be showered with gifts.

A huge blowout in the first episode?  More than even I had hoped for.  And we’re still waiting to meet the newest housewife.

 

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